SHITTY TRAIL
(Melody – Mickey Mouse Club song)
S-H-I-T-T-Y T-R-A-I-L
Shitty Trail,
Shitty Trail,
The mother fuckers laid a shitty trail!
I would rather drink this beer,
Than run your shitty trail.
S-H-I-T-T-Y T-R-A-I-L
So drink it down, down, down . . .

HERE’S TO ___ (Basic Down Down Song)
Here’s to _____,
He’s true blue,
He's a Hasher (asshole optional),
Through and through,
He's a pisspot,
So they say,
Tried to go to heaven,
But he went the other way,
So drink it down, down, down . . .

HE WANKS HIS CRANK
(Melody – Itself)
He wanks his crank in the morning
He wanks his crank in the night
He wanks his crank with his left hand
and he cleans it up with his right.
So drink it down, down, down . . .

DOES A HASHER?
Melody - Do Your Balls Hang Low?
Does a hasher like to walk,
Does a hasher like to run,
Does a hasher like to be where they're having all the fun?
Can he drink a 12-ounce beer,
While his friends all sing and cheer,
Now your time has come.
So drink it down, down, down . . .

YOU’RE STUPID, YOU’RE STUPID
(Melody – Chant)
You're stupid, you're stupid
You're really fucking dumb
If it wasn't for your mother
You'd be a spot of cum!

THIS IS YOUR DOWN DOWN SONG
(Melody - Ta-Rah-Rah-Boom Te-Aay)
This is your Down-Down song,
It isn't very long. . . .
Drink it down, down, down . . .

RETURNER'S SONG
(Melody - It's a Small World After All)
They've returned to us, some from far away,
Some fucking excuse, each of them did say,
As we listen to it,
We know they're full of shit,

BIRTHDAY SONG # 1
Melody - Happy Birthday to You
Happy birthday, fuck you,
Happy birthday, fuck you,
Happy birthday, you asshole,
Happy birthday, fuck you.
Drink it down, down, down . . .

HER LEFT TIT
Melody - My Bonnie Lies Over the Ocean
Her left tit hangs down to her belly,
Her right tit hangs down to her knee.
If her left tit did equal her right tit,
She'd get lots of weenie from me.
Drink it down, down, down . . .

HE'S THE MEANEST
Melody - Itself
He's the meanest,
He sucks the horse's penis,
He's the meanest,
He's a horse's ass.
Ever since he found it,
All he does is pound it,

He's the meanest,
He's a horse's ass.

HIS ONE-SKIN
Melody - My Bonnie Lies Over the Ocean
His one skin hangs down to his two skin,
His two skin hangs down to his three,
His three skin hangs down to his foreskin,
His foreskin hangs down to his knee.
Drink it down, down, down . . .
OPTIONAL VERSES:
Roll back, roll back,
Roll back his foreskin for him, for him.
Roll back, roll back,
Please roll back his foreskin for him.

THEY OUGHT TO BE PUBLICLY PISSED ON
Melody - My Bonnie Lies Over the Ocean
They ought to be publicly pissed on,
They ought to be publicly shot, (bang bang)
They ought to be tied to a urinal,
And left there with Fester to rot,
Drink it down, down, down . . .

WHY ARE WE WAITING?
Melody - Come Let Us Adore Him
Why are we waiting,
Could be fornicating (masturbating, etc),
Oh, why are we waiting,
So fucking long, etc . . .

WHAT A WANK
Melody - William Tell Overture
What a wank, what a wank, what a wank, wank, wank,
What a wank, what a wank, what a wank, wank,wank,
What a wank, what a wank, what a wank, wank, wank,
What a wankkkkkkkkkkkk, what a wank, wank, wank.
Alternates:
Get a life, get a life, get a life, life, life . . .
What a fuck, what a fuck, what a fuck you are . . .

TWENTY TOES
Here’s to the game of twenty toes,
It’s played all over town,
The girls play with ten toes up,
The boys with ten toes down, down, down, down.

BUILD A BONFIRE   (Oh me Darlin Clementine)  

Build a Bonfire, Build a Bonfire

Put a Kiwi on the top

Put more Kiwi’s in the middle

And we’ll burn the fucking lot

Drink it Down, Down.....

DAISY, DAISY (give me your answer do)

Daisy, Daisy, give me your Tit to chew

I’m half crazy over a root like you

It wont be a stylish entry

I can’t afford a Frenchy          

But you’ll look sweet

Between the sheets

With me chock-a-block up you

Drink it Down, Down.....

HE’S ALRIGHT

He’s alright.   He’s alright.

He’s got a little Dick,

But he’s alright

Drink it down, down, down . . .

HOLD IT IN YOUR HAND

Hold it in your hand, Mrs Murphy

It only weighs a quarter of a pound

It’s got hair round it’s neck like a Turkey

And spits when you jerk it up and

down, down, down, down, down, down, down,

HOORAY

Hooray for …………….,

Hooray at last

Hooray for …………….,

He’s a Horse’s Arse

Don’t be mistaken

Don’t be mislead

He’s not, a Horse’s Arse

He’s a Horse’s Head

Drink it down, down, down . . .

HERE'S TO THE HARES

Here’s to the Hares who laid the Trail.

Was it good,,,,,,, or did they fail?

Was it a good run, or a complete fuck up?

Give ‘em a Beer, coz at least they turned up.

Drink it Down Down Down Down Down Down

HOT VAGINA

Melody - The Eyes of Texas Are Upon You

Hot vagina for your breakfast,
Hot vagina for your lunch,
Hot vagina for your dinner,
It’s munch, munch, munch, munch, munch.
It's so tasty and nutritious,
Bite-size and ready to eat,
So take a tip, go eat some clit;
Hot vagina can't be beat.

IF YOUR GIRLFRIEND TASTES LIKE SHIT

(melody: 'If You're Happy and You Know It')

If your girlfriend tastes like shit, flip her over,
If your girlfriend tastes like shit, flip her over,
If your girlfriend tastes like shit,
It's her asshole, not her clit,
If your girlfriend tastes like shit, flip her over!

Drink it down, down, down . . .

INCEST TIME AT SOPH3

Melody – Yellow Rose of Texas
When it’s incest time at South of Perth,
And there’s no cunt to be found,
Your mother’s in the bathroom,
Her panties halfway down,

No time for masturbation,
No time to beat your meat,
When it’s incest time at South of Perth,
Mother-fucking can’t be beat!

Notes: The final line is often yelled.

IT'S A SMALL DICK

Melody - It's a Small World

Well it isn’t long and it isn’t thick,
It gets hard too slow and it cums too quick,
It gets lost in her twat but it’s all that he’s got,
It’s a small, small dick.

It’s a small dick after all,
It’s a small dick after all,                       
Always limp from alcohol,
It’s a small, small dick!

Drink it down down ………………….

 LAST NIGHT I SAW YOUR SISTER

Last night I saw your sister,
She was tearing up the town,
She was missing teeth,
And her pussy reeked,
But still she went down, down, down, down, down, down,

PUFF THE MAGIC TAMPON 

 Melody – Puff the Magic Dragon 
Puff, The Magic Tampon 
Lived between her Flaps, 
And frolicked in that awfulness 
Of yeast and cheese and crap! 

Then one day it happened, 
Puffy sprang a leak. 
But don’t complain you sleazy bitch, 
He’s been in your cunt all week! 

Drink it down, down, down . .